There are people who consistently succeed and there are people who consistently fail. The crazy thing is that you can actually come pretty close to pin pointing the things that make the difference between success and failure.
The experts say it usually comes down to your self-awareness, mindset, habits, and hustle.
I believe a good definition of success is the status of having achieved and accomplished an aim or objective. Being successful means living in line with your values, achieving your desired vision, and accomplishing planned goals.
What this means is that success and failure is different for everyone, depending on what your goal is.
What I want to explain to you today is how to fail at everything no matter what you’re trying to do. I may not know how to succeed at everything, but I do know how to fail at everything.
Two weeks ago, I was at a leadership training seminar with my company in Nashville, TN and I loved it. We learned a lot about what makes someone a great leader.
What was interesting was we also spoke about the opposite. Our coach showed us 3 things that will crush your chances of getting what you want.
HOW TO FAIL AT EVERYTHING (3)
(1) Complain About Everything
Everyone knows this person. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. If it’s not this, it’s that.
Not only is complaining going to hold you back from any goal or ambition, it’s unattractive, ineffective, and effects everyone around you.
People will not want you around and will start to avoid you like the plague.
One of the executives in my company says when he hires people, one of top character traits he looks for in someone is being able to get along with anyone. Complaining does the opposite.
People who know me know I’m an optimistic guy. I do my best to be optimistic about everything. Why?
Positive emotions attract positive emotions. Negative emotions attract negative emotions.
However even though I’m optimistic, I’m also loaded with practicality. There’s a balance, and we have to constantly keep ourselves in check.
Book Resource: The Obstacle Is The Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials Into Triumph
Someday in the future I am going to own a business and at my company we’re going to have a golden rule:
If you approach me or anyone in the company with a problem, you must immediately follow it up with a solution.
Problems are fine, everyone has them. But someone who’s mind is wired to find solution instead of seek problems has major advantages.
So I invite you to do a quick awareness check on how much you complain and start to notice when and where you do.
If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.
I’ll give you a challenge I did that helped immensely. Here’s how you play:
- Wear something, anything on your wrist (bracelet, rubber band, hair tie).
- Every time you catch yourself complaining to someone, move the band to the other wrist.
- Try to go 30 days with the band on the same wrist.
(2) Blame Everyone For Your Problems
It’s never their fault, it’s always someone else’s. This person lives life with that victim mentality and the whole world is out to get them.
I think in most cases it’s our ego trying to protect us. No one wants to be wrong and look stupid for it. No one wants run the risk of being socially criticized for anything either. Our first reaction is to push it off on someone or something else.
However, the bigger person acts differently. Those who succeed consistently and have things going on in life, take ownership of everything. They also make more money and have better relationships.
If you make a mistake, own it. If your team fails, own it. If you’re over weight, don’t make an excuse; own it and start sweating. If you don’t have the social life you want, better own it and go out there and improve your social skills.
All in all, take ownership of your entire life. Each of us are 100 F-ing % in charge of our lives.
(3) Never Be Grateful
What’s an entire life spent never taking the time to stop and think about some of the things that you’re thankful for and appreciate? Sounds like an absolute nightmare.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. I used to think of gratitude as some soft and mushy topic. Holy shit was I wrong, gratitude is life.
If you don’t know where to find gratitude, start by looking outside.
I make it a goal to practice gratitude daily. I take 2 minutes usually right before I go to sleep and acknowledge the things that happened that day that I appreciate. Sometimes it’s a relationship, sometimes it’s a conversation, sometimes it’s my health, and sometimes it’s something else.
It doesn’t matter who you are, there is so much to be grateful for.
With that being said, let’s be practical. There are of course exceptions to everything I say. Sometimes someone has the right to issue a complaint, and sometimes things are out of our control.
The theme of this message is to raise your awareness in these areas and try to improve them from where ever you are today.
If becoming the strongest version of yourself were easy, life would be no fun. Embrace the chaos.
DON’T COMPLAIN
TAKE OWNERSHIP
BE GRATEFUL
Much love,
Kyle Nitch
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