Want to know the closest thing there is to a superpower?
Warren Buffett says it’s speed reading. I say it’s charisma.
I first started learning and working on my charisma when I met Charlie & Ben from Charisma On Command.
I actually enrolled in one of their programs a couple years ago called Charisma University. All we did was practice charismatic mindsets, habits, and techniques for 6 weeks.
Making unforgettable first impressions even had it’s own section in the program. I believe charisma is a skill like anything else and not something you were just born with, anyone can learn it.
My last 3 moves have all been to new cities where I didn’t know a soul, so learning charisma has been amazing for meeting and connecting with new people. In my experience, one of the most important pieces of that was knowing how to make a great first impression. That instant likability is a superpower.
Mindsets:
If you’re in the game of meeting new people, growing your network, doing business, and building life long relationships you need to be in the right mindset before you even start.
- Always leave somebody better off than when you found them.
- Your first priority is to provide value. You’re there to share your good energy and positive emotions.
- Show genuine interest. Other people’s lives are extremely interesting.
- You don’t need to convince anybody of anything. You’re not trying to convince someone to like you. If they don’t like you or your idea, that’s fine just move on.
As you can imagine, nailing down a great first impression is important because you’re going to have A LOT of them over the course of your life. Being able to make good impressions will bring you an abundance of amazing opportunity.
To begin, let’s break it down:
When you meet someone new, what are the questions you get every single time? In fact, I almost get asked these questions every single day.
1. WHAT DO YOU DO?
2. WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
Most of us already have autopilot answers for these questions, the problem is that our autopilot answers suck.
I published this article so anyone interested can improve their conversational habits and start using this daily opportunity to their advantage.
Q: What do you do?
A: I’m a sales manager. [Bad]
Q: Where are you from?
A: Orlando. What about you? [Bad]
Dude, boring.
Here is the trick: consistently answer stock questions in a way that reveals your values.
The Introduction: What Do You Do?
You have to get your introduction down right. Your introduction is saying who you are in an interesting and compelling way that makes someone want to continue their interaction with you.
It’s a short statement (no more than a sentence or phrase) that explains who you are and what you do. Let’s use me as an example:
Introduction: I work for a construction management company. [Bad]
This is bad. It leaves people confused; no one knows what that could be. Avoid the use of any jargon.
Introduction: I build beachfront hotels. [Good]
This is much better and equally as true. It’s more compelling and begs another question where you can go a little deeper. The follow up question is what’s called an invisible thread, a question that you know is coming. Make sure you have an equally compelling follow up response ready.
Of course, I use a handful of different versions because you’ll always find yourself in different social dynamics. Your intro should adapt to the environment and who you are engaging.
Your answer for “What do you do?” will be different if you’re networking at an business event or rolling up on that pretty girl at the bar.
It’s funny now when people ask me these questions, I secretly smile on the inside because I know I’m about to knock it out of the park.
A good compelling introduction is like playing slow pitch baseball for meeting new people – home runs all day.
Another random example:
Introduction: I’m a software engineer. [Bad]
Introduction: I’m building the next biggest social network. [Better]
Do not use jargon or technical terminology that only someone already in your field would understand. Use language where you’re introduction is universally meaningful.
If people are asking for clarification after your response, you need to tweak it. People should be intrigued and really want to know more. [ “Oh really! What social network?!” ]
Even if they don’t remember your name, they’ll remember a good introduction.
Introductions are useful everywhere. Don’t forget to nail one down for your dating life.
Boys: You need a compelling intro to let the ladies know they’re dealing with a boss.
Girls: You need a compelling intro to let the boys know they need to step up their game.
With that said, it’s important to not come off as try-hard. Your introduction should truly be authentic to who you are and what you do. Your introduction will change and develop over time as you meet more people and fine-tune your delivery. This is part of the process.
The Grounding Story: Where Are You From?
The introduction makes an impression, but the grounding story makes an emotional connection with people.
This is why you become who you are. You want to be relatable. You should root your introduction with a real, human reason for why you do what you do.
This question is going to come up immediately or very soon after your introduction. If I were you I would lead the conversation down this path every chance you get because it’s a great opportunity to show your values.
Q: Where are you from?
A: Oh I’m from Fort Collins, CO. [Bad]
You can do better. You should aim to tell where you are from in a way where the other person can feel connected to you. You should be vulnerable and let people get a glimpse at your story and experiences.
Q: Where are you from?
A: I’m from the best state ever. What’s your favorite state? [“Uhh..New York”] Nope. I’m from Colorado. I moved here almost 2 years ago. Have you ever had culture shock before? [“Yes/No”] Well it’s crazy and I defintely had it when I moved out here. I left home to experience different parts of the world and get out of my comfort zone. It’s proved to be one of the best decisions of my life. Have you ever moved to a city you’ve never been before? [“Yes! 2 years ago…blah blah blah”] – [Good]
Do you see the difference? After a short conversation you are on another level with another person, and you’ve only answered two (2) questions. You’ve turned off their autopilot and are able to really connect.
A lot of your success with building a connection will come from your body language as well. You want to have open and confident body language.
Here are four feelings your first impressions should provoke in the person you’re interacting with:
- Positivity, Fun & Uplifting: It’s hard for someone to have a fun, positive, and uplifting conversation and not have a positive, uplifting image of you in their head.
- Trust: They need to know you’re authentic and not deceiving them.
- Respect: After they trust you, they should respect you.
- Genuine Interest: Your impression should make the person feel important. The other person should feel special and know that you have a genuine interest in them.
If you want to become interesting, you should first become interested.
RESOURCES:
- Check out Charisma On Command’s YouTube Channel for free charisma breakdowns.
- Book: How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- Book: Charisma On Command by Charlie Houpert
In conclusion, you can imagine what a difference becoming more charismatic and nailing down first impressions makes. I’ll say this again, relationships are the most important thing in the world. Relationships are everything.
Nothing exists in isolation. Everything exists in relation.
Let me know if you have ANY questions or comments. How else can people make great first impressions?
PS: Also for a limited time only, I’m willing to work with you on your introduction and grounding story. Just subscribe below and contact me. We can collaborate over a call or e-mail and nail down the basics of a great first impression.
Much love,
NITCH
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